Adventures in social psychology, or musical chairs for adults
POSTED: September 10th, 2010

I keep hearing and reading about how humans are “very social creatures” who “crave social interaction” and whenever I do, I wonder how anyone could come to this conclusion.

I mean, crave is a strong word. If humans crave social interaction, it should mean that we just can’t get enough of it! We should want it in all forms at all times. If we spot someone else’s half-used remnants of social interaction on the side of the road, we should pull over and pick them up. If we have to spend our entire paycheck, we should swipe that card and never look back. No matter what we have to sacrifice, we should do it, even if we only get an “um, hi” back — which would never happen, because the recipient of our admirable social efforts was craving our advances all along.

So I thought to myself, where’s a better place to socially interact with new people than when you arrive to an event early, such as a lecture or a reading?

First of all, you know you have a common interest — you decided to spend your Thursday afternoon here! You can practically feel the collective “yay!” of your future pals around you. Second of all, you probably all share some basic personality traits, as you too are decidedly punctual! Third of all, you have nothing better to do until you wait for the event to start. And lastly, you crave social interaction and all around you, there are plenty of opportunities to re-up!

Except… that’s not really how these things work at all, is it? Because we all know that this is what actually happens when you arrive early to an event:

The truth is that we all actually really hate each other.

Like, really, truly, madly, deeply OHMYGODTHISGUYISINMYPERSONALSPACE and Why is there no “invisibility” feature for this messaging client yet?! What do you mean, it’s in beta?!?! and How did people survive without caller ID? and I readjusted my entire schedule to be able to go to the gym at 2 a.m. for minimal human contact and “Have I used the ‘I’m sick’ excuse too many times this month yet?” and Genius! I’m going to start wearing headphones in public so I can ignore everyone guilt-free! type of hate.


89 Comments on “Adventures in social psychology, or musical chairs for adults”

  1. 1 Sabrina said at 3:04 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    This post is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. 2 Sarah said at 3:09 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    It’s funny, yet sad because it’s true. I’m a back row person in meetings, mostly because I like to be able to watch everyone else instead of them watching me. You can sit next to me, but not behind me! Just like the way we consume media, we want to be able to choose when we interact with other people instead of being open to conversation all the time. I’m completely guilty of it. So I guess I’ll just put my headphones on now…

  3. 3 Malee said at 3:12 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    My GOD. That last paragraph kind of sums up life. I’m guilty of IM’ing my friends out of nowhere since I’m always “invisible”. It’s nice. And I ALWAYS KNEW these damn cellphones were a tracking device.

  4. 4 Kate said at 3:21 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    Wow, I totally agree, except that Im the person that is always super early, and sits up front and looks like an eager beaver. *sigh* There is just no winning.

  5. 5 Teresa said at 3:27 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    I love the graphics. I do so much better when there are pictures involved. It’s totally true though. This is why I always pick a seat in the middle so I won’t need to move up!

  6. 6 Alexandra the Tsaritsa said at 3:38 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    Like they said on Seinfeld, “People. They’re the worst!”

    I am also that eager beaver in the front row.

  7. 7 Felicia said at 10:13 pm on September 10th, 2010:

    Hahah I loved this. So spot on!

  8. 8 Diana said at 12:24 am on September 11th, 2010:

    That’s it! That’s exactly it. I hate dealing with people. (You know, I say that, but I’m on the Internet practically all day, but if I’m not, I’m listening to someone’s voice to relate to through music. I don’t even know what I want.)

  9. 9 jenieros said at 9:11 am on September 11th, 2010:

    this is very witty. i used to sit at the back row, but i realized that i’ll absorb more information and focus better when i’m in front. okay, maybe just the second row.

  10. 10 Kristine said at 2:03 am on September 12th, 2010:

    There’s a reason I sit in the third row of the third column for every one of my classes. But that doesn’t prevent others from sitting around me, unfortunately. I am stuck with a bunch of high-achieving brown nosers who love to be seen up front. Luckily, I’m completely invisible in class. Also, being short really helps- no one seems to notice I’m around. :-P

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    It’s like you are taping directly into my mind and summing it all up so much nicer than I am able.

    This is why I think you are brilliant.

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    This is the most apt description of human interaction I have read in a very long time.

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  17. 17 Melinda said at 7:25 am on November 15th, 2010:

    SO TRUE! Lol. It’s not even that I don’t like being around people. Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes I really WANT to be friendly and it’s other peoples’ coldness/awkwardness that intimidates me and makes me pick a seat in the back and not say anything until the teacher walks in.

    You write about the funniest situations and your blog is addictive. In case ya didn’t know.

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