POSTED: September 17th, 2010
Sometimes I think about whether or not I would change my last name if I got married.
At this point, it’s like whether or not I would make a good football player — it could go either way. I’ve never changed my last name before and I’ve never played football, so really, who’s to say?
I mean, I’ve heard the arguments of tradition versus identity and I remain unconvinced and unimpressed.
First of all, fuck tradition. Nobody invited tradition. Tradition is like a Monday: No one really wants it, but it happens anyway. Because it’s tradition. Tradition and Madonna would have a lot to talk about if they ran into each other at Panera.
Second of all, do you really have no defining characteristics of your own that your last name is that vital to your identity? If so, then by all means, keep a firm grip on the most interesting thing about you! And, like, also keep a piggy bank for the day you realize you need therapy… but until that day, woo! Andrea Smith reigns! Or maybe it’s a cultural significance issue. Cultural significance is a worthy argument and all, but we still know you’re Asian. Or it could be a professional issue. I don’t know about that one, but I do know that I like Heidi Samuel as much as I liked Heidi Klum (not at all).
Despite this, people in the past found themselves torn, and thus hyphenated names and people named Anna Martinez-Zoldowski were born. This is unfortunate because by now, most of us know that the hyphenated name option is like the linoleum floor option: You skip it.
So in 2010, when deciding whether or not to change your last name after taking your vows, I think the only thing you really need to ask yourself is is his last name cooler?
If it is, you make the switch. There’s really no question. It’s like trading in your ’94 Volvo (safe and reliable… but kind of boring, gives off a questionable first impression, and reminds people of that one night… and that other night… and holy shit, is that the Lisa Johnson?) for something less lame, if only by a small margin.
And really, it’s the little things.
is his last name cooler?
This is basically the reason I changed my last name when I got married. That, and my old name was already hyphenated.
In my case, I think I would much rather change my last name because:
1.) I hate my last name and everything associated with that side of the family.
2.) I want to trick my future patients by making them think that they will have a German-American doctor, but instead they get a short, Asian doctor married to a German-American doctor. (I think I will always find that funny.)
Haha! I think about this a lot and I’m not sure what I would decide, either. I don’t define myself by my surname and I certainly hope it’s not the most interesting thing about me, but I like it. I think I’d wanna keep it.
My last name was changed when I was 10 years old after my mum remarried, so I don’t feel attached to my surname. It’s not mine. However, I still think it’s a lot cooler than my current boyfriend’s surname, so I’d rather keep it if I were to marry him.
Totally agree. While I would be okay with changing my name, my fiancé’s last name is unpronounceable and generally-not-cool, so I have decided to keep mine. We also entertained the idea of creating a new last name.
My last name is Potter. And with that being said I still think I’ll take my future husbands last name completely because while it will probably be significantly less cool, it’ll be his. And so will I.
“Is his last name cooler” is definitely the only guideline I’d go on in deciding whether to change my name or not. So far, all of the guys I’ve dated have had last names that make me want to cling onto my own name for the rest of my life, but I’m still holding out hope for a last name that’s more cooler than “White”. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Leshanne Pretty and Rebecca, filleosophy. filleosophy said: {new post @ filleosophy.com} What's in a name? Giving your signature a makeover in 2010: http://bit.ly/bCRS0V [...]
“Is his last name cooler” is the same exact guideline I’ll use, too. If his last name doesn’t flow with the rest of my name as well as my last name, I’m keeping mine.
If he wants us to have the same last name, he can have mine.
I changed mine because his was shorter and I didn’t want to keep my dad’s last name. It was a pretty easy decision. Except nobody can spell either name correctly.
I was quite old enough when I got married to be attached to my surname. I had no intention of changing it. But something squooshy happens to your heart when you get married. Sometimes things surprise you. You really shouldn’t decided how you will decide until you get there. You might be quite taken aback by how the decision actually gets made.
I know a woman who legally dropped her middle and surname entirely and just goes by Tess. I always thought that was pretty badass.
reply by Denise:
September 18th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Like Cher
My hubby and I came up a with a whole new name when we got married. We had both been previously married, and neither of us wanted to associate with our past names, so we made up a brand new one. We love it, and it really worked out for us.
Kate Rowan
http://www.idreamloudly.com
I don’t think I’d change my last name to be honest, half of me is convinced I will never marry. It’s not in me.
The cooler thing doesn’t matter to me, my surname is Hobson, I find things about it to be unique, like Hobson’s Choice (google it) but I’m currently with a guy who’s name is Parris. I like Parris as much, if not more than Hobson.
Amanda Hobson or A.J. Hobson sounds better IMHO then Amanda Parris.
Too many Ah’s. Ah-m-ah-nd-ah. P-ah-rris. Were as Amanda Hobson rolls of the tongue a little nicer.
Also, by not changing my name it will save me about 1600 bucks I would have to spend to update all of the state licenses I hold.
So this post really did make me laugh out loud.. and I can’t say I agree anymore.
If it weren’t traditional to take the guys last name, I seriously doubt really anyone would do it. I guess people see that as, if they don’t take his last name, they don’t “really love him” or whatever. Which is stupid.. it’s just a name.
I really have thought to myself, “The only way I’ll take his last name is if it’s cooler than mine.” There’s no way in HECK I would take some embarrassing last name.
If I were to marry my current boyfriend one day, I would totally take his last name of Du Preez (doo pree-uh). So much cooler than mine.
yea~ nobody invited tradition, he just shows up at parties and everyone looks away.
Names are hard. I still can’t tell if your name is sophy, or fiona. Probably sophy but your title might probably not have anything to do with your name at all. I went through 3 different names for this blog. I went through pomegranate, then seed, then ended with the titan project. I wasn’t exactly exploding with the last name, but i learned to love it.
On your sidebar under “subscribe”, I read “Via RSS” as “Via ASS”. Haha.
Tradition is like a Monday.
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My issue is that I want my boyfriend to take my last name, which is Goldfinger. His last name is Goldman. Obviously mine is cooler, less common, and really close enough that barely anyone would notice if he changed his. We’ve contemplated just shortening both our names and going with Gold (and the funny combinations of Goldfingerman and Goldmanfinger), but I still think that he and our future children should take my name. Any advice on getting him to agree?
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