POSTED: October 20th, 2010
If you want to start making three-dimensional social interaction more uncomfortable for yourself, just start spending more time on Facebook and wait to find yourself in the following situations:
Don’t I know you from the Internet?
Some time ago, this guy who goes to my school added me on Facebook. We had several mutual friends so I figured I knew him somehow, but since I’m usually too busy convincing myself not to run off the campus screaming, “AND I’M NEVER COMING BACK!!!” at any given moment, I generally don’t remember everyone I’ve ever had class with. So I messaged him and said, “Hey, do I know you?” He replied and said, “Nope.” That was it. Nope. That was a few months ago. Then, this semester, I started seeing him in the cafeteria. Not from across the salad bar, but, like, we reached for the same carton of soy milk. Did either of us say anything? Nope.
Didn’t I deny your electronic friendship advances?
Determined not to make the same mistake again, when a new male stranger added me on Facebook, I denied that shit like Bill Clinton and felt proud of my progress as a Facebook user/social media expert (those terms are interchangeable, right?). But then I started seeing him. In the hallway. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Because we have a class together. Oh, did I not mention that yet? I also see him in class. And he gives me this look that says I know who you are and what you did and I hate you. And I hate me too.
But he wasn’t even good-looking!
I do this thing when I befriend someone new that can be roughly translated to exploring (read: stalking) the last few years of their lives in the form of browsing (read: examining) their photo albums. It’s great because then I know them, or at least I feel like I know them, which is really what friendship is based on. The only problem is that they don’t know that I know and then they sit down in tears with me one day because their ex finally moved on and they’re just so bent out of shape over it and I blurt out something equally comforting and creepy like, “But he wasn’t even good-looking!” because I saw those pictures from the trip to Myrtle Beach and, um, this new girl can have him. And then I get a blank stare in return and I realize there’s no way to salvage this and I’m crashing and burning with every secondhand tick that follows. “… I mean, compared to you. I can just tell. Because you’re so pretty. He couldn’t… Look, a UFO!”
So which is worse: The fact that you’re a liar or the fact that I know you’re lying because I read your wall over breakfast?
Back in the simple days of the ’90s, when you wanted to tell a lie, all you had to do was tell it and you were probably golden. Now, you have a lot more bases to cover. If you blow someone off and say you’re sick, you can’t check into Madison Square Garden on Foursquare so your Twitter followers have something extra to scroll past. You can’t let your friends confirm plans on your Facebook wall. And you sure as fuck can’t upload an album called “BEST NIGHT EVER!” the night that you told me you thought you might be dying. So when I see you the next day and you give me this totally deadpan, sociopathic rendition of your miserable Friday night when I know that you were already six beers deep by the time you bothered to tell me you couldn’t make it, do I continue to express sympathy or do I punch you in the face first?
Well, now I have nothing to say.
It’s your fault. You caught me off-guard. I didn’t know I was signed into Facebook messenger and so when you messaged me, I felt the pressure to entertain. So I told you too much. I told you about my day. I told you about my boyfriend’s day, which was really a story about his yesterday because I don’t know how his today actually went yet because I’m sitting here talking to you instead of him. I managed to work in my go-to entertaining story, the one that’s only half-true and didn’t even happen to me, that everyone loves. I didn’t want you to hate me in person because I was a terrible conversationalist online. I had to. Except now, twelve hours later, here we are. Face to face. And I have absolutely nothing to fucking say to you because I said it all already because you made me and I don’t see you throwing out any gems either. I should have just clicked “Go Offline.” I should have just clicked “Go Offline.” I should have just clicked “Go Offline.” WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I JUST GO OFFLINE?
I wish I could go on believing that you weren’t a complete and utter moron.
Every now and again, I meet someone in person who isn’t entirely unpleasant and I decide I want to be their Facebook friend. Almost immediately, I regret my decision. I go to do my usual cyberstalking and then — BAM! That was their choice in music slapping me in the face, followed by their choice in movies, followed by their lack of choice in books (“Who reads anymore? ROFL!”). And then I see the potpourri of sexist or racist or just completely idiotic things they are Facebook fans of. And then they start showing up in my newsfeed. Because they miss their boyfriend at 8:55 P.M. And they love him at 9:05 P.M. And they want him to call them at 9:15 P.M. And they’re having a hard time sleeping in this big, lonely bed without him at 10 P.M. OMFG FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! at 11:15 A.M. There’s just no one who gets me like you do, you are my only one <3 at 12:30 P.M. And then I have to try really hard not to kill them when I see them next because murder is generally frowned upon, even when you have a statement of purpose to justify your crime. I know. It’s just not right.
And if you haven’t been here yet, it’s only a matter of time.
#4 and #6 are the most obnoxious things ever.
I was supposed to do a group project with someone over a weekend, and they bailed, claiming a family “thing” came up.
Unless keg stands and duck-lipped pouting for cameras are common activities for her family, I’m pretty sure she was BS-ing me.
Granted, #4 came in super-handy when I was an RA. Yes, we were allowed to corroborate write-ups with stuff our residents stupidly made public on Facebook.
As for #6, my first step is deleting the offender from my newsfeed. If they become a #6 offender in face-to-face conversation, they get deleted from life.
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook… that is the only way to describe it.
reply by filleosophy:
October 21st, 2010 at 3:00 pm
My relationship is primarily hate, which is why I only log in about once a month (seriously).
reply by Rachel Celeste:
October 22nd, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Yeah, I’m down to once a week… and I feel it getting even worse…
My pastor added me on Facebook while I was away at school. I was in class and gasped so loud, people near me turned around and asked if I was okay. I can’t…what.
reply by filleosophy:
October 21st, 2010 at 3:00 pm
what is this i don’t even
Umm. Thank you for stating everything I feel about the face in one clear, concise post. I thoroughly enjoyed.
reply by filleosophy:
October 21st, 2010 at 3:01 pm
I’m really glad you thoroughly enjoyed instead of just mildly enjoyed! So thank YOU!
I am ashamed to admit I’m often caught out by the “Oh we never talked about that? Oh I must have just read it on my News Feed… WHEN I WAS STALKING YOU.” Embarrassing.
I. Hate. Stalkerbook. I have one, sure, but I’m always offline for chat, I block every app and Farmville update, and I just removed 100 “friends”. And yet I still feel compelled to keep the damn thing. I mean…they’ve already stolen all my information and intellectual property. Why deprive my mom and brother of their ability to read my (infrequent) updates and pictures from a whole country away? But do I use it for what most people do (dating, stalking, social networking, whathaveyou)? No freaking way. That’d be stupid.
See, I only joined Facebook earlier this year and that was because my friends basically arranged a boycott on me meaning that none of them would respond to my texts until I signed up. I find the entire thing just that little bit ridiculous; the whole let me amass as many “friends” so that I look hugely popular, the way ex boyfriends conveniently find you and can e-stalk you with a brazenness that astounds me and the whole we’ve never spoken more than six words to each other, but we’re suddenly the bestest of facebook friends.
Can you tell why it took me so long to join?
I have such a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I joined the spring of 2005 as soon as I had my college orientation and was given a college email address… THE DAYS WHE FACEBOOK WAS EXCLUSIVE! Those were the best. I couldn’t wait. I am a total Facebook stalker. I’ll see someone I know in public, we’ll start chatting and when they start telling me about the super cool event that just occurred in their life I have to catch myself before I say “OOoh yeah I read about that on Facebook!” so I don’t look like a total creep ;-X
I hate Facebook because it completely ruined the 10-year high school reunion. Ugh.
reply by Gillian:
October 21st, 2010 at 10:55 am
I joined in fall of ’04, almost at the end of my first semester. Resisted for as long as I could, but they got me.
The exclusivity was so awesome back then. And it wasn’t as creepy because the newsfeed hadn’t been invented yet.
Amen! I just started dating a new guy and can’t decide whether or not to add him because I really don’t want FB and all these disasters to be the downfall of our relationship!
reply by filleosophy:
October 21st, 2010 at 3:04 pm
But how else are you going to find out what his ex-girlfriends look like?
I mean, what?
I’ve been in all of those situations…yay me! And I definitely have a once cool co-worker who I regret befriending because she’s like, “I love Nathan Derek foreva and eva!” and then 1 hour later it’s “I hate, hate, hate men. With a passion! Oh I’m single now!” and then 20 mins later…”Feeling sick. I think I might be, possibly be, yeah…” followed by comments like “Preggerz??? omgz!!!” and around and around we go. I want to murder her, I must admit.
reply by Lilly:
October 26th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Lol. Some people don’t get that there should be limits to what you share on Facebook. Not to mention, not as many people as think actually care what you have to say.
Aaah these are SO on point. I HATE when you are friends with someone on Facebook but it’s too awkward to talk to them in real life. I go through these cycles where I deactivate my account for like three months, go back for 2, deactivate for 3, etc. It’s pretty blissful for those 3 months, until I start wondering about one ex or another and turn into a ravenous jealousy monster and have to make sure I am still better than them. Sigh.
comment4,
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comment2,
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comment1,
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Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
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